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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a
friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I
haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like
cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a
friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting
married."
A famous pilot was having dinner with a brunette and
when they finished they headed to a hotel. He calls room service and asked
for a bottle of red wine. When it arrived he put some red wine on the
brunettes lips and started kissing her. She asks what the red wine is for
and he replies, "For when I have red meat - I have red wine." "Oooohh" she
says. A little while later the pilot jumps back onto the phone and orders
some white wine. It arrives moments later, he splashes it on her rack and
starts kissing her t**s. She asks what the white wine is for and he
replies, "For when I have white meat - I have white wine." Eventually he
works his way down to her cunt, pulls out a can of lighter fluid and a
match, sprinkles it on her muff and lights it on fire. "Aaahhhhhhh, why
the f*** did you do that!?!" she yells. The pilot replies, "For when I go
down, I want to go down in flames."
